Thin, fat, pimples, not curvy, more curves – all kinds of body. And nothing feels right. When you wake up, you realize that your body can be better.
Maybe the colour can be better. And by better, it can mean fairer or darker depending upon country. This reminds me of the quote. “Grass is greener on the other side.”
No matter what type of body you have, you yearn for the opposite of it. And you wish for that. Kinda insecure. The society is evolving. And there are norms which change fast and sometimes it takes ages. But one thing is common – there is a comment on the body.
For example, when you are fat – you may find comments like, you are eating all the food. And when you are thin, why you don’t eat food. And there is no normal because everything is comparative with the person commenting.
You accept the comment, sometimes laugh and mostly feel bad. But you brush it off because it is a society norm.
And everyone does it. From your closed family members to the distant relatives. In some cases, you allow them because they are jokes and you are comfortable. But other times, you have no choice but to act as concerned, or you like the joke.
The Paradox Of Compliments
When you see someone, you compliment on how they look. And they do the same. Both of us are thinking about the same thing. Why on Earth would she compliment me when she has the perfect body. Maybe she is acting, so she gets the praise. Or she wants me to feel nice.
Or when you dress too much, makeup and ten different things. Everyone starts complimenting you. You wonder where you not pretty earlier.
Sure, hiding your tummy, faking your height or using ten different products do make a difference. And everyone around you is using them.
So that must be good. Even the celebrities who are the epitome of beauty are using them. They swear that they use them every day. So by that logic, you should use it more often because you aren’t that pretty or alright, to begin with.
You crave for compliments. But when you get them, you feel like a fraud. Because you think you don’t deserve them.
Why can’t you look amazing all the time? Why you were thin, and then you become fat? Why don’t bodies just be amazing? Why so many flaws?
When you believe a certain thing, chances are you will drive yourself to that thing. For example, when I was in school. In one of my exams, I wasn’t sure if I would pass the examination. Because I couldn’t study for some reasons.
In my mind, I was frustrated. And so when I went to the exam, I was all over the place. When it came to writing the answer, I figured there were only a few questions of which I knew the answer.
So I told to myself – whatever and wrote the answers in anger. As a result, I didn’t correct any spelling mistake or made any effort to present the answer beautifully. I didn’t bother to recheck the paper. And I gave my answer sheet.
And when the papers were checked, I was almost saved. And I analyzed the paper. I realized if I had focused on correcting spelling and answering whatever I knew beautifully. Then I would have gotten more marks. Compared to the current low marks, almost saved by failing in the exam.
That’s what happens to you too. When you think, your looks don’t matter. Or your body isn’t amazing looking. You do things which support that.
You don’t wear clothes that flatter you. Or you use makeup, and if it is messed up, you go on anyway. But it’s all in your mind.
What you think about yourself. Will reflect in how you actually care for yourself. So the alternative is to consider yourself important, beautiful and amazing. And your actions will slowly support that. When you believe, rest will follow.
You Do You
While there is a certain idea about how you should live your life. But most of them should be okay with you. For example, a feminist would say that women should be given equal opportunity for work. And in theory, that is true.
But it is perfectly fine if a woman wants to be a homemaker. Hence, the idea isn’t to choose a superior position. Rather, choose what you want. And you should be able to make that decision by comparing everything that is available to you.
Sure, the standard of the human body tells that you should look a certain way. If you like that way, go for it. And whatever you decide is fine. And if you disagree, then fine – be content the way you are. Either way, choose for yourself. And not for others.
Let’s consider an extreme example. If you decide to get overweight because you like that. No one should tell you it’s bad. Because you know there will be problems. But that’s what you like. As long as you aren’t harming someone else, then it’s fine.
Because everyone has some bad choices technically. You may be eating too much chocolate or be smoking. Or you might be going on extreme adventurous sports. Or you might be supporting bullfighting. When you sit down and analyze, you can find everyone has something which they like to do. Which seems wrong from a technical, rational and logical standpoint.
But you are a human being. Who makes flaws, mistakes and isn’t perfect. Whatever you decide to do, no one is responsible for that. Only you own them.
Hence, when you think about it – why you have Insecurity for your body. But then again, why shouldn’t you have Insecurity for your body.
Everyone chooses what they focus on more. You decide for yourself. People might seem it shallow. Let them think that way. Remember, your story in your head is all that matters.