Why Do I Push People Away

Why Do I Push People Away

If you feel uncomfortable, insecure or awkward, then it's alright to push people away. The thing is - there always exist two extreme sides. And you have to find your own balance.

Let's say an extrovert person wants to go to multiple parties. And another introverted person wants to sit at home. Nothing is wrong or right - it's just preferences. The point of growth is to recognize - there isn't any permanent label. And you choose how introverted or extroverted you want to be.

No one decides for you. Society can try to make you conform. But it's ultimately you who have to decide for yourself.

As such, you will find yourself doing all sorts of things to collaborate, network and be around people. And it will give you joy, generosity and opportunity. But sometimes, it might not work. There might sink in a feeling of just being in your own space. But the other people will have their own expectations. But you don't have to adhere to that.

So, you may have to push people away. And that's okay. Because everything is alright - you aren't allowed to break the law of the land, but don't let societal expectation make you things you don't want to do.

To Protect

In a relationship, if you sense you are in danger or things are going in the wrong direction, it's alright to push people at the right time. If you let the behaviour stay, then it will grow. And who knows what the final form of that danger will be.

There can be abuse, gaslighting or any sorts of things that might happen. And a society with good intentions will tell you to stick it together. But you should decide for yourself. Because if something goes wrong, you will be in danger.

The one question is - what if you push people and find out later that it was a false call. For this, there are two anecdotes for you.

If you sense cheating or abuse in a relationship, it doesn't matter if it exists in reality. Because you have lost faith, and you will constantly be in fear or double-checking. You don't want to be in such a relationship anyway. And the second thing is to realize - it's okay to make the wrong decision. You can't make all the right decisions; no one can. As long as you decide with the right intention, like to protect yourself, go for it.

Shy - unKnown

If you are shy, then people will often tell you to change yourself. Be more open and conform to the accepted norms.

Yes, if you are shy often, then you might run into problems here and there. But then who doesn't. There is no single personality trait that wins all the time. Remember, changing yourself is fine as long as you want to do it. If you conform to society's rules, it might hamper your inner beliefs and integrity.

If you try to win the society, then you will always be trying. Because no matter what, they would want you to change. And there will always be something off about you.

Whether you are in a bad time of your life or a good one, society will have something to say about you.

At such times, you don't want your close ones to tell you how to behave and be a certain way. If your personality isn't liked by someone, push them away. Chances are you don't need them anyway.

Past Failures

Your past experiences might make you a certain way. And those experiences exist for a certain reason. Sure, no matter what, you can't judge a person entirely. But if you have a bad feeling, then it makes sense to push people away.

If you would constantly be in fear, then that path isn't worth it. No matter with whom you are - you should feel safe and secure. And whatever emotions you want to have with them. If it isn't the case, feel free to push them away.

There can be a trauma associate or a feeling of rejection lurking around. And you will make some bad choices again. But remember, you aren't perfect; no one is. All the advice people tell you are based on some assumptions. And you have to take everything with a grain of salt. Often, you have to bear the repercussions. So it makes sense to make decisions based on your final feeling or judgement. Not to be right every time. But to take responsibility for your actions and grow along.

You decide what's best for you, at the moment. And if something goes worse, you decide again - if you want to stick or push people away.


Why do I push people away?

  1. To make myself secure.
  2. To feel better.
  3. Because you sense danger.
  4. You don't want to conform.
  5. You are working on past experiences.
  6. It's your boundary.
  7. There is a fear of rejection or past trauma working.
  8. You are shy.
  9. The situation has gotten awkward.
  10. No one understands you.
  11. You want to make a point.


And on and on. Doesn't matter what the reasons are - it's alright to push people away. Although the human connection is how we have strived and come along so far. It's not a reason we should conform to everything.

There are bad intentioned people who want to make you feel bad or worse. Your health and mental peace matters a lot. Do as you please and stay awesome.