Eating lunch together is a fantastic bonding experience. Do it with strangers, and you might connect.
Hence, when you share this with people of interest, you connect in profound ways. And aside from this, eating is the exercise to refuel your body. However, you don’t know the capacity of your fuel tank.
Unlike the motor vehicle where tank size is limited, your tummy can expand and accommodate more than required food.
This is good from an evolutionary perspective. You eat on many foods as possible. Because you don’t know when the next meal will arrive.
Also, if you have to starve for a few days or weeks, you could. Thanks to the fat stored in your body from the excess food you ate. Also, to get food, you have to do rigorous things. Making arrows, fighting, running and as a result – you were in balance.
Now, the scenario is completely different. If you are a middle class and above person, you have no shortage of food. You have been eating 2 meals and possibly breakfast all your life. You don’t have to do anything because you were a kid. And now, you have a job – it puts food on the table.
Often more than is required. However, you still don’t know how much to eat. So you eat a lot. There is no limit. But unlike in ancient times, you aren’t going to experience starving days.
The excess fat keeps on accumulating. It is a power supply if something goes wrong. But you keep getting food.
You get used to the new requirement. And the fats keep on depositing. You become fat. And there come many problems with it.
There is a huge demand for weight loss because of this. Also, there are many methods to lose weight. One of them is regular fasting – kind of like induced starving.
Everyone says they want to lose weight, but not really. Humans are complex in telling what they need. How do you even differentiate…
Story Of Needing Help
A friend of yours shows up. And discussing everything under the sun. You are someone who takes care of what you eat and how much, you exercise and do activities. You are lean and fit.
Your friend eats everything. Doesn’t do exercise. Every year, she makes the resolution to lose weight.
Which lasts for a few weeks. And the cycle continues. She wants to lose weight – she tells you. And asks for your advice.
You are a good friend. You have something which she needs. So, you tell her about everything she needs to do. You give a masterclass to her on losing weight. And after some time, you tell her to act on it.
You are happy that you helped someone to take steps towards their goal. And it would be amazing to see their transformation.
After some time, you meet her at a club. You all are having fun. Now, there are many friends. Your friend, who wanted to lose weight talks about how she is fat. And asks for advice. Another friend shares the tips. And she nods.
You are confused…
You gave her the blueprint some time ago. And she is here again complaining about the same things. Did she forget, or your advice wasn’t good? You want answers.
Why would she not use your advice? What’s her agenda?
You Helping And Getting Disappointed
Priorities define who you are. The way you spend your time determines how and what you will become.
For example, if relationships are a priority for you, then you will sacrifice other things for making a better friend.
Everyone has 24 hours. And you have to decide what’s important for you to work on. Many people have their priorities in 2 categories—one which is their actual priorities and one they claim.
If you are saying, your priority is doing side business on the side. But you complain of no time, and you are watching Netflix for 4 hours. Then your priority is to get entertained and not make a side business.
Where you spend your time and money are your priorities. You can claim anything to be your priority. But if you aren’t spending either time or money on them, then it’s only virtue signalling.
It ain’t cool to say your priorities is to watch Netflix. It’s cool to say your priorities is to do side business.
Also, many times people are just saying something because they would love to have it. But aren’t willing to work for it.
For example, everyone would love a 6 figure salary. But you want it to fall on your lap. You aren’t looking to take actual steps to lead you there.
A Better Approach
When someone asks for your advice, especially when it’s a friend – it’s tempting to spill your masterclass.
Often it’s a virtue signalling. You say you want it but not really. So, just nod and move ahead with other conversations.
If they keep asking on your advice because they really want it. Then ask for something in return for your advice. It can be a donation to a charity of your choice. Or you can ask her to buy a yoga mat and do yoga for 3 weeks. Only then give your advice because she would have shown commitment by doing so.
Or you say – it’s something you do professionally. So there will be a consultation fee for your time.
If they don’t do as you say – they don’t want it really. Laugh it out and say – you have nothing. It’s just genes which help you lose weight.
But if they do as you say, then you would know they really want to lose weight. Then you share your advice and be happy that your masterclass of knowledge and time didn’t just go waste.
This applies to any advice someone asks you. Always ask for time or money commitment first and let them show you.