Working in the education sector has its pros and cons – and you are wrapped somewhere in between trying to find your meaning.
It rarely happens that you get your passion job in the first try. And that’s the point. If you get it too easy, then, you might not appreciate it. Getting it by struggling, fighting for it and honing your skills behind the scenes adds more meaning to the process and outcome.
Being in the education sphere, you are encouraged to lean on anything which revolves around you learning more.
But they fail to understand economics, practicality, and requirements of a modern workspace.
Research is given the first and most of the attention. And it should be given too. But being a business point, you have to maximize things which gets more revenue. So many of the people, including me, struggled to survive and get along in the boat. This was partly because it wasn’t providing a viable environment for growth and partly because there was no decision which was making sense for the more significant growth of the organization.
Food on the table, rent every month and a basic standard of living are essential. So you do this job despite its apparent challenges.
Romance And Breakup
College romances are the best because both of you are naïve, full of hormones and elastic to handle any breakups.
Love happens in the air; often, it is lust. And it happened with me too. I was in college, our eyes met, and the magic was created.
From days to a week and now months, our relationship looked strong like ever. Almost everyone in the college knew of our banter and sometimes used to tease us too. The happiness was growing through the roof.
And one beautiful day, the judgement day happened. I didn’t do anything wrong and nor did she. However, the magic disappeared, and it became painful to bear each other. So the harsh words were spoken – we are breaking up. And that’s how my first break up happened. I was relieved.
Or so I thought. The first few days were okay then the pain in the heart was unbearable. She seemed to have moved on. And I was here craving her more than ever.
The world seemed dull, tears used to roll down my cheeks, and there were many lonely nights. Each day was getting sadder.
The Daily Problem
Each day my right hand would pain by the end of working hours. And it would subside later so that I would forget about it.
Next day, the same routine would continue.
It used to mess me up. So I started using the left hand for half the time. And the pain doesn’t come. So I did end up finding a solution. But this involved using the right hand for mouse half the time and using the left mouse for half the time.
When I needed to write something, I would type fast and then rest by stretching my right hand.
A new habit developed in which I used to keep my right hand stretched down and start my day by using my left hand often.
This wasn’t my routine because I was right-handed. Although slowly I had gotten used to this new habit, I did want to use both my hands and be free. Since this doesn’t seem like a big nuisance, I didn’t share this with anyone.
So the shift was happening on the daily struggle, doing something with the right hand, pain coming in and then me switching my hand or relaxing. It sort became a new and weird daily routine.
The Pain Grew
Since it was my first breakup, I didn’t know what to do. So I cried like hell every night. My mom probably knew, but she didn’t bother me. Also, how long will I be dependent on the parents for the new emotions and ways to tackle them.
It was hard to describe the feeling – it seemed the world had stopped, and there was no hope in the world.
The feelings for her had intensified. When in a relationship, I cared for her ‘X’ times. Now that she has gone, the emotions and care had more than quadrupled.
My studies got impacted. And the worst part was that she didn’t seem to care. Whenever the paths would cross, she would ignore me. And that hurt like a hole in the heart. The person you loved the most didn’t even care to say a simple hi.
The questioning of promises starts – all those moments where they lie? You go in self-analysis and doubt everything that has happened in the past.
But since you aren’t sharing the pain with anyone, all the solutions are silly and only land you in more pain than you begin with.
And Just Like That
The pain in the right hand was gone, but I didn’t like the way I worked. Using left hand, stretching in between seemed like a not-asked for the disturbance.
One beautiful day, my colleague saw me doing the gymnastics with hand, and she suggested lifting the seat, aligning the computer to an angle so that the forearm could rest without one arm being stretched.
And voila the pain in my right hand had gone.
It turns out; the problem was the angle of the computer which was putting a strain on my right-hand shoulder.
Similarly, in my love story too – changing the angle of narrative, she dumped me because it wasn’t working. Not because I was incompetent helped me to accept things and move on.
Just like that.
Sometimes, looking at things through a different lens helps a lot. Simple solutions exist; you have to look for it.
Or else, you will keep on juggling complicated things, and the pain will keep knocking on your door. Do something different – trying changing the angle.