On Proximity, Losing Communication And Understanding Friendship
What role does geographical closeness play in the strength of friendship – does it matter how far or close you stay with your friends.
Also, what does it say when the bond weakens or strengthens based on the distance. Let’s try to dig deep and understand your affection, loyalty, and fondness. Friendship is the best bond because you decide a stranger will have your deep secrets – often which you don’t share with family.
So let’s get to the scary, dark, and real truth about your desire to stay near friends.
Are you close to her as you say or is it just an illusion because of no choice? Let’s slice up the friendship between you and your friends surrounding their location.
Close and No Talking
When you think about it – you hope that your friend with whom you connect on so many levels should stay close.
You could talk with walkie talkie for hours and no charge for the phone. You can talk about stars, the Universe and the life’s biggest decision such as who will sit on the first bench tomorrow.
The chances of you meeting your friend increases because you shop from the same market, the road to the main street is same, and your local society is same, so any cultural festival has both of you. So, if you don’t intend to – even then you will find yourself in her proximity. And naturally, you will talk, play, and have fun.
Although all of these happen, some friends stay close to your home, and you still don’t talk to them.
You aren’t happy when you bump into them in the supermarket, rather you give out a fake smile and walk away. For a few friends, your bond is strong because of proximity, and for few, you hate it when they are close to your house.
Faraway and Talking
Consider this when one of your friends goes away from you – because she is shifting her address, her dad’s job changed, or her family is restarting their life anew.
You would feel sad because the intimacy will be lost and frequent chat which you used to have would no longer happen. And the vacuum will exist for a long time – her memories will come when you go to the school alone or when you play at the park with new partners.
Sure, it will be hard at first. But eventually you will get rid of the sensation, and you will move on.
There will be new friends and new memories, and whatever may happen to her, you won’t be much bothered.
But you receive a message on your email, and it’s her. She emails you weekly, talks on phone every month, and spends time with you on summer vacation. When you thought that she would not be around because she wasn’t physically, she surprised you and your bond continues to grow strong.
The distance exists, but the friendship stayed. Yes, with some people the friendship ceases to exist, but with some people, they continue to chat even with long distance.
Closeness Helps Build Connection
What’s going on here? Here are four scenarios which are bound to happen:
- You and your friend stay close – the bond grows stronger
- You and your friend stay close – the bond fades
- You and your friend stay far away – the bond grows stronger
- You and your friend stay far away – the bond fades
If your bond fades, then it is to do with the fact that you don’t like the friendship as much as you thought. Spending time together doesn’t imply anything – many colleagues in colleges and offices spent hours together, but it is often because of no choice.
Conversely, the bond grows stronger when you want it to. Hence, it doesn’t matter if the friend whom you value so much gets separated as long as she values you too – the connection will persist.
However, my argument is this – if you value your friendship with someone try to stay with close proximity as possible because that is the best combination ever.
The closeness grows stronger with someone whom you want when they are nearby to attend you. In either way, meeting with friends you want often is the key to a long-lasting, fulfilling, and better relationship.