Life is unfair. And the sooner you accept them, the better your sanity can be. There will be bad people. But to balance them, there will be good people.
If you focus on the bad people all the time, then you are losing your mind. And it will only get worse.
The alternative is to focus on the good things and make things better for yourself. But sometimes, you get stressed out by normal people doing things which makes you stressful. What to do at such times…
Banks make their money when you keep your money for a longer time in banks. The rate of interest they provide is the minimum one. They invest your money and make tons of it.
But that’s a business and they are reaping huge rewards for the high risk they are taking.
However, they also make money by charging you fees on various things. Out of them, late fees is the one where they make tons of cash. Since you know it, you always pay your dues in time. And the banking process is awesome for you, no late fees, interest per quarter and instant customer service.
And then one fine day, you are charged a late fee for something you didn’t do. It was a wrong charge on your card.
A small fee but still a wrong one. You called the customer care – they didn’t accept their fault, you escalated to the manager. And this kept on going for days. Finally, you email to the core banking in charge stating your disappointment.
And that charge gets reversed. You feel relieved that the wrong thing has been reversed.
Showing ID Card
Going to a job every day is a tiring thing when you don’t like the job. But if you have projects to look ahead, colleagues whom you love and the boss who is like a friend – then things become better.
But every day you go with an angry head to the office. Because you need to show the ID card to the security.
Because the check is random, many people go without showing an ID card. However, you are always asked to show the ID card. And this irritates you. Your bag is broken and it takes effort to show the ID card and your zip gets tight. This makes it difficult for you to open the bag later.
Then you make up your mind to just go with the speed at the entry point and avoid the checking.
And you tried it. However, it didn’t work all the time. So every day became a game of mouse and cat which resulted in an increase in anxiety.
You also tried to befriend the security guard so that she might allow you based on your friendship. And you became a good friend talking about work, life and current politics. Next day when you came with a smile, she still asked for the ID. Just being friends doesn’t mean she was going to let go of the rules. And it made you sadder.
Accepting And Making Terms
In one of the example, you did got the charge reversed. But in the process, you lost your time and the energy. Also, you accumulated more stress in the process. So to fight the stress related matter, you took on more stress.
In another example, you tried something and now you got more stuck. Because you befriended the security guard, you now have to make small talk.
And you are still being checked for an ID card. So it became a double failure. So the question is what should you do..?
It might feel tempting to be right and get that charge reversed. And it is a great thing to do. But you should always look for a bargain. For example, if you are charged $200 then it makes sense to fight for it. But if you are charged $1 then you are basically fighting for that $1.
That ain’t worth. If you care about morals then sure go for it. But if you value your time and energy then it would have been better to try once and then shrug it off. Yes, you lost $1 wrongly.
And your day got worse. But you won’t allow it to make more days and time bad. So eventually you win big.
In the other case, you could have just bought a new bag for $10. And you could have solved the problem.
By looking at the surface, it seems that you are stressed and angry because you are being asked to show an ID card.
But at the deeper level, the problem is that your bag isn’t working and so it takes time which irritates you. And this is a daily problem. So it makes total sense to invest $10 and get rid of that problem. Sometimes moving ahead is better than sticking and fighting for your stance.
Your sanity and well being is important than feeling good fighting for low stakes moral.
And you can use this in your life. For example, in your relationship, if your partner does a small mistake. Then you have two choices – one is to confront and make them realize their mistake. Or if it is a one-off small thing, you can forgive and move on.
You don’t have to even tell her. Getting big things correct and letting the small things which happen not bother you will help keep your sanity.
Take your job – focus on doing the work, reporting correctly to the boss and getting promoted every year.
The gossip, people making fun of you and trying to pull you down can be ignored. As long as you focus on big wins, those small things won’t be a hindrance.
Unless you want them to by focusing on them. So let those things pass by, focus your energy to make things better by making better things. Don’t let small problems become big by focusing on them, use them on small positive things instead.