Rohan's blog

It’s painful when someone shouts, treats you badly or resort to harassing you. And it can happen without them intentionally trying to hurt you.

What’s going on here – let’s dig in.

Bad Conductor

Going to the office every day is a tiresome activity. You need to stand under the sun waiting for the bus to arrive. Based on your luck, you might get a seat. And then you can be relieved if you have the exact change to give to the conductor.

Because apparently, they are short on change even though they have a bag full of coins and lower denomination notes.

Ideally, they should just let the transaction flow normally and no problem would arise. But they have a fear – if they give a change to everyone then the change might go over.

However, that is an extreme thing. In a normal distribution, some customers will ask for change and some will give change. And as such the conductor will always have a change to spare. The conductor doesn’t agree on this so they hold on to change like their precious treasure.

So if you are the one who doesn’t have exact change, they get angry with you. Harass you to give change.

And if you don’t then they will give you change but after speaking badly about you in loud voices. Rightly so, you call them bad conductors.

Good Conductor

Meeting with a friend is a delight. And you took the bus again to go to her home. As a precaution, you always take the change to avoid any dramas.

But as you went, the conductor seemed smiling at everyone. Also, she was giving a change to anyone who asked for it. Then you were asked to take a ticket and you gave the change. And she made a joke and went smiling.

Wow, you had never seen such a joyous conductor. Maybe she had some good news at home.

And you reached your friends’ house, you talked about recent movies, about the job and a probable vacation.

When you came back home, you took a minute to think about the conductor – two types of the conductor. One who is angry because a problem may arise and other who is calm and no problem arises. One who shouts and humiliates and other who smiles and tries to get along.

In the grand scheme of things, chances are problems can arise and when it does  – you couldn’t have done anything. So why not, be happy, positive and caring. It makes the other person’s day. And more importantly, you live a happy and stress-free life. Isn’t that better…? You hope that the bad conductor realizes this.

Same Situation

So in both cases, the situation was the same. But the way conductor reacted was different.

And that is your choice. The life you throw problems at you or your mind may come up with situations which might seem problematic. But in the end, you have to take a call – how are you gonna react.

Are you going to shout, be angry and lose your mind. Or are you are going to be calm, see with many perspectives and do your best.

When you see it this way, the answer seems obvious and it is. But to implement, you have to practice this.

Next time, when you are on the bus – smile when the conductor shouts at you and don’t take the things she says to your heart. You can start with you – the others will take your vibe. It might take time but they will realize that you are being calm and they might start questioning their way.

Also, this will help you to become better. Slowly this attitude will follow in other areas of your life.

Your Life

The more you think about something – the more it seems that it will be the end of the world. For the conductor, losing change was the end of the world. But in reality, that situation isn’t going to happen.

And in the odd scenario, it is going to happen – you can’t do anything. If every passenger doesn’t have a change to give, you have no chance but to lose all your change.

So the fight you are getting into every day is futile and there is no fruitful outcome. The alternative is to give your best and stay positive.

In other areas of your life, this principle follows. For example, in a relationship you need to give your best and stay calm. No matter how much angry you get about certain things, it will make your blood boil and no good will come. Talk and come to a logical solution.

Also, in your job – the moment you lose your calm you will be seen as a person who can’t be promoted.

So in essence, you are losing your opportunity in your life by being a bad person. The best step is to behave in your best manner, keep your calm and keep doing the important work.

Worrying about things not under your control is a futile exercise. And for those you can control, there is a better and polite way.