Humans are weird – they crave for connection but fail they say it effectively. They want the reassurance from family members and friends but at the same time, they don’t want the world to see them vulnerable.
Expectation ruins many relationships. Because when the love is booming, each of the partners does a thing which they normally won’t do. They want you to feel special so that you choose them. And this scam continues for a year or 2. But once you commit to them, both of you start to come back to the normal phase.
The real real you start to show up and it is a surprise for your partner. If you cook for your partner on weekends for a year then it is natural for a person to expect the same to continue. But if that was a part of the show which you put to court her then she is going to be disappointed. You will stop cooking for her and then she will start to wonder why you are doing this odd behavior. On the contrary, you are doing this as a real you – but you forgot that you did something to impress her.
So a good piece of advice is to be normal and do the stuff which you will normally do. If you change then fine, but don’t set up yourself for failure.
Be the real you, be nice, be respectful, show romance and then let her decide – either way, move on and lead a good meaningful life – you deserve this.
A Culture Thing
When this thing of expecting evolves, it takes a form of culture and then comes into the lives of friends and family too.
So when you are going on a trip, you expect your best friend to come along. And when you can’t make it, you pray that your friend won’t come too. Sort of like you have same likes and it won’t be as much as enjoyable without the other party.
But this assumption leads to the expectation – and what if you are assuming it all wrong. This then leads to sadness, a chain of events filled with disappointment and the overall experience is bad.
Frankly, you don’t want to go through it. So, you need to let go of the attachment. Fine, if you can tag along with your friend on a trip. It should be fine too if she can’t make it – you go regardless. Don’t attach yourself too much such that you can’t do something on your own. Self-love and self-dependence is an important thing to bring out a fleshy character of your own. And doing this leads to a fulfilling life of love, happiness, and co-existence. And aren’t we all striving for that?
You are more powerful than you think, you are more self-dependent than you feel and you are more awesome than others tell you. Look for connections in the community, but dare to stand tall alone, if that’s the way it is.