Eating is a beautiful activity. It helps you connect with someone on a deeper level. If you have any kind of relationship, it is incomplete unless you eat with them.
Eating makes you vulnerable. You have to expose yourself. Hence, it is an intimate interaction. Your hands get messy, you drool on the food, and sometimes you lick your hand.
Going out with friends, family or someone you want to spark interest – get down and have some food. Order what you like, no need to experiment. Or try one new dish. You want to enjoy the dish, the talks and create a memory.
Not all the time. But enough. So this relationship grows to another level. Trust grows deeper, you open up, and happy hormones jump out.
There is no set rule on when and how you go out eating. But do it fast. It sets up a good vibe. A place for you to hang out and have a relaxed time. When you are hungry, you can’t think better. A full stomach sparks your brain.
Yes, rice can make you sleepy. But if you push through the first hour, then you are energized as a kid. You ask questions, become more intrigued and have a blast.
Eat At Home
A local restaurant is an excellent opportunity to go and have a snack. Or you can try something top-notch depending on how generous you feel.
In relationships, since eating together is a fantastic thing, why not keep upping the game of where you eat. Explore different cuisines, newly opened places or go on tasting opportunities to find what you like.
Or go on some food making experience and then eat them. It embodies a more intimate experience. You fail, smile and come closer.
When you think you have to keep going to high-end restaurants – you can take a detour and find new local places to eat. It’s the highs and lows that keep the rhythm in check.
And when you are close enough in a relationship, you can drop the best place to eat. At home. Yours or theirs. Better if you can make food together. This is the best thing you can do. Invite someone you care for – to lunch or dinner at your home. And let them have your cuisines and special food.
If you cook it with your own hand, the closeness is on another level.
The stain on your collar is dreading. If it comes from the lips of someone else who isn’t your lover. When you are in a monogamous committed relationship, you are insecure. Not always because that would become paranoia but sometimes. Because let’s agree that we all are a little insecure.
But a stain of food on your clothes is fine. You can choose to be angry and sad. And you can cry. But all of this would be an overreaction. You can manage a food stain on clothes.
Most people freak out when the dust catches their clothes. And it struck me odd. Because the clothes have a purpose – to protect your modesty, to keep you warm and catch the dust instead of your skin.
If between you and your clothes, one has to get dirty – it better be your clothes. You don’t want to get dirty all over your body.
When you are eating food, lost in conversation with someone you care for so much, you are bound to get clumsy.
Some juices will drip over, that morsel of food will fall, and the moist hands will touch the clothes. Not intentionally, of course.
And it doesn’t happen all the time. But when it happens, you allow it. You embrace it. Your relationships can never be perfect – that’s a fairy tale. A little clumsy is all needed to keep it real, to feel it real.
When you form a team to do work. Any work. The traditional kind or the hobby one. You are dealing with humans. Of varied taste and ideas.
The understanding is different. Trying to let everyone see the common goal is difficult. A hard problem. But that’s the start you need. So you can do the work, make change happen and level up.
You realize that the dynamics are different. And the approach is new. The idea of doing work in a certain way is there. But for everyone, the way is different. What you see as the best way is found to be okay.
And what your team members find the best way, you find it clumsy. At this point, you may want to stretch yourself and make it a point.
You are the leader, and you decide that the way you think is best is the way to go. You repeat – being clumsy is bad. And you try to mould others into your way of doing things.
Or you can choose to understand being clumsy is fine. As long as your team members are being forward or learning something along the way.
The Better Way
What humans you are if you aren’t a little clumsy. You stumble, fumble and go blank. The nervousness of speaking to a hundred people on stage doesn’t go away. You just shun the noise in your head. And accept the clumsiness.
Earlier, if things went south – you would panic. Now, you embrace it, make a joke about it and keep doing the work.
Perfection is a myth. You are only approaching it all the time. As humans, you make errors – learn from them and make less of them. And sometimes do brand new mistakes. When you say you are clumsy, it doesn’t mean you are careless.
Whatever work you do, you put in your heart and make the best of situation. Just that you are a little clumsy.
And while it might seem like a bad thing. Everyone should realize and accept that we all are clumsy in at least something.
Let’s not judge fast. Be open and show generosity.