Asking For Assurance

Eating together is a nice family thing to do. Except that you can be physically present and absent otherwise. Your mind is a wandering beauty, it escapes the reality and does make the illusion of being present. Others see it as a boring thing, but you have evaded to the land of exciting.

As you gulp down the rice, you are eating ice-cream in the fantasy land, discussing all the wealth which you have accumulated. The poor people seem needy, but rich people want to flaunt it. So you make the rational choice to give the money to the rich. And you imagine ten different scenarios while at present you are doing this nice family thing of eating together.

The Distant Reality

Or you sit down along with your family members but you ain’t talking. Instead, you are typing on the messaging app. Your friends from far away have something important to say – ‘hey’.

You talk with ten different people at the same time. And when you are bored, you do some search on Instagram and Facebook. There are no notifications pending, yet you keep refreshing the page.

But the same feed comes up, and you start to message people randomly. The messaging app which was designed to talk when you aren’t near – became something to escape from the people who are near you. Your family doesn’t mind because each one of them is busy on their phone.

When the phone first came into existence, it was seen as a means to connect with other people. But now, it has become the very reason which is increasing riffs among the people. Social media has made it easy to get addicted, and now it is easy to get stuck into the endless feed of time pass, in a literal and figurative sense.

Touch For Human

When things go south, you cry and become sad. Also, you need some form of human connection to make yourself sober again. Not to give you solutions or some magic mantra. Instead, you need them to hold your hand, listen and be there.

This simple act translates to much-needed care, and you can tackle almost any downfall. But sometimes, you are looking for a piece of advice. And you are struggling to make some decisions. You weigh in the pros and cons, but you are lost.

Your friend is the best thing you got, so you throw in your problem and ask for advice. But beware because if instead, you ask for assurance, you are making up an illusion.

You Already Know

Many times you already know the decision. But you are afraid to take it, and thus you need someone else to make that recommendation to you. For example, you would ask – ‘I should go to that gym, right’.

And thus you asked for assurance. You already knew which gym you want to go to. But you need someone else to tell you that. So in your mind, you can push the blame to her if things go south.

And you can see this in your normal conversation every day. On the surface, nothing seems bad. But deep down, you can see that fear is taking control of you.

The alternative is to let that fear come to you. But instead of asking for assurance, take that bold step. Yes, you would be responsible if things don’t go well. But that’s the whole point – you will get better and push you to make choices far better and go that extra mile.

Also, it ain’t about winning all the time. You have to win most or the major ones. In all the cases, try your best and embrace that uncertainty.