Fear is the biggest motivator they say. Once you fear something, it can help you either channel your thoughts in the same direction or some other direction. For example, if you fear getting hurt while doing backflips then you can focus on other areas where you think the fear is manageable by you.
Or you can let that fear sink in and practice on the mat. Achieve small success and then toss that fear out. Either way you can channel your fear into something positive.
The best thing about fear is – it ain’t going anywhere. You can try hard to prepare 10 hours in advance. But the moment you come on stage, your neurons will hit and make you feel nervous.
There is very little you can do about this feeling. But the thing that you can do is let it come and embrace it. It’s fine if you shake a little, fumble a lot. As long as you keep at it, you will do it less often and people will forgive you.
Work hard and come back again. The fear will come again too but this time you will fumble less and look better. From your experience, you know that as long as you don’t quit you can let the fear stay and nothing bad will happen.
Why Are You Afraid?
There is probably a reason why you feel the way you feel. A kind of chill coming and going in an instant. And as soon as you have done with the fearful task, it all goes away.
Societal judgement is one thing. If you ask someone who is straight to go hand in hand with a girl, then chances are they both will be fine. No big dares as such. Of course the first few moments will be thrilling because it is a part of intimacy but that’s it.
As a gay or lesbian couple to hold hands in public then there will come a fear in their mind. And this is something society had dictated and acted in the past.
So for them it will seem like everyone is seeing them. And all of them seem to disgust in unison.
But as long as the situation isn’t hostile, you can dare to do that. And slowly it will become a normal thing for you. Maybe society will take long time to adjust. But you will find a middle ground of being okay with it.
Aren’t we all looking for that in our fearful situation anyway.
Take The First Step
Often public speaking is considered a tough thing to do. And it is because 100s or people are silently waiting to listen. And if you do something bad, they might laugh and/or criticize you.
But you won’t be able to go and speak at the stage unless you have prepared yourself in bits. Take some small test for yourself where the stakes are low.
Maybe go in a big showroom and ask about the price and features – spend 15 minutes and come back. It takes guts initially to go and not buy something from a high end store.
Or you can go and watch movie alone in a theater. In the break, you can go and spend time alone looking at the posters or observing people nearby. You will lose anxiety and the fear of needing someone every time.
If you are feeling brave then go and shop in the women’s section for your mom, sister or girlfriend and surprise them. This way you can build up your appetite for fear and guts required for facing them.
A Part Of Life
You can either run away with every chance you get to face fear. Or let it happen to you and become stronger with each instance.
Trust me with time and more interactions, the feeling of fear is only going to get strong. So let’s join in to make yourself fine with the idea of facing fears. It’s okay to be afraid and not know what to do. But do it anyway.
Fail and then learn from your mistakes. Go again because there are many chances for you. It isn’t a life or death situation when you fear public speaking, talking to your crush or giving job interviews.
Most things in your life won’t be so drastic. Leaving those, everything will give you second chances. So go strong in your first chances.
Failing is better in this case because you survived to go again. And that is the beauty of the life you are living in.