When you live a long life chances are that you will encounter many people in life. And some of them may be good. Some of them may be bad. And some of them may be lie in the gray shade.
You want to have a relationship with them. But the gray shade is itching you.
Yes, you do have to compromise in life because nothing comes good, without any compromises in life. Take any relationship, for example, parents, and your relationships. You’re born into a family, you don’t choose your family.
You don’t choose your brothers, you don’t choose your sisters. You don’t choose your father, you don’t choose your mother. But it doesn’t matter. Whatever they give, you have to accept it. As long as they’re providing the nourishment and they’re all a good person.
Yes, in any kind of condition, you have to accept the compromises which you have to do.
The first question which might come into your mind is that- why you should compromise. And the best answer I can come out is that you’re flawed too. You have your own gray shade. And people accept you.
Okay. So, where is the fine line that we should not accept the compromises.
The best thing is you have to decide for yourself.
Let’s take an example of friendship. Friendship is something which you are not born to, you choose your friends. So let’s take your relationship with someone, or you try to have friendship with three or four people.
Okay, all of them have some good things, all of them have the bad things. And you also have some bad things within you. For you to become friends with all of them, they all have to accept your bad thing, and you have to accept theirs at the same time. You all need to be agreement with the good thing that you have.
Stages Of Relationship
So let’s take one by one, you are friends with the person say ‘A’, and you both are having the good thing in common. You accept her bad things, she accepts your bad thing, fine you can become a friend, not an issue.
But take the second person example you accept the bad things of her, but she doesn’t fully accept the bad things of yours. And she still makes friendship with you.
And this friendship is the reason why I’m writing today, this friendship has the potential to become a toxic relationship forward. Because one of the person in the relationship is not fully committed to accept the flaws.
You should end the relationship and move on, because if you pursue chances are you might hurt the other person.
And that is not going to go well, let me tell you what will happen in the five to 10 years of your relationship. Slowly, that other person might become angry, sad, and only dramatic because of a bad things because those don’t go away.
And she hasn’t compromised or accepted your bad flaws, you have accepted the flaws and that’s why you are having a good time with her. She isn’t. Surely she might become non empathetic, she might become cruel, she might say bad things.
But she wanted to have a relationship with you for whatever reason, so she might you various reasons she might try to manipulate you and make you fall for the relationship.
Slowly you will mature and understand all the things and you will realize that you’re not being treated in equal manner. So you will try to end relationship, but at this point you already invested a lot of time.
Now, you feel bad for making the wrong choices, and she’s behaving as if the you’re the person who’s doing the wrong things and she is doing the right thing.
Okay. And at this point, there will be a messy breakup. And both of them will be hurt. There will be tears rolling on the cheeks. So what is the solution.
Identify the relationship, be open, be communicating in the early stages of the relationship. Because as long as you are accepting the flaws, you have to make sure the other person is also accepting your flaws and both are on the same page. And you can go into the relationship.
Yes, the relationship is bound to change for good or bad, that is future to tell if you have to keep on maintaining your relationship. If after four years realize that the pitches have changed and you’re no longer willing to accept the flaws or the changes or she is not accept able to accept. Not a problem. End the relationship. Seriously.
Remember, every relationship has an endpoint, enjoy the process, enjoy the time you spend with her, but make sure you don’t spend the time at which you’re unhappy in the relationship. Okay, next time. Take care.