It is easy to lift up your finger and point towards other. Assuming yourself as an elite person – it is difficult to assume that you might be at fault. All the bad things that happens might be because others messed up.
Seeing yourself as the perfectionist won’t do good if you aren’t one in reality. The delusion has to be broken. Because if you want to grow – then acknowledging the mistakes of self is the first step. Taking help is crucial to growth.
What happens when a person points at you?
How would you react if you are considered as the source of failure?
It is hard-hitting to know that you are the low point in a group. There are 2 choices in front of you. And choosing wisely will lead you to better position.
Before I let you in on the choices, the important thing is to embrace that world isn’t revolving around you. And you being right in a linear rational fashion has no significance in the world. Sometimes you need to become flexible if you intend to move ahead. Nothing wrong in that…it is just how the world works.
Each day you end up with your friend hanging around, making jokes and laughing out loud. On the way to home, you buy drinks – share life experiences and the bond becomes much stronger. Your thoughts, ambitions and the overall rational are on the same level.
Hence, you connect on a deeper level. From the goof-ups to the intellectual arguments, you understand the point of view. And the connection feels like heaven.
A good friend pushes you to level up, engages in deep conversation and accepts who you are. And along the way, both of you grow to greater heights.
The more you engage in various activities, you realize your friendship survives despite not meeting for long or talking too much. The bond has developed into something which has deep value. You have the trust such – you can call and she will come running for help. Or if you need anything the other person will help you by going to greater lengths.
And that is something which defines your relationship – the plain and simple growing old together concept. Enriching each other lives along the way and doing simple, boring things together.
And along the work, college and other hangout places, you meet people with whom you share a considerable space. They are fun, quirky and nice to hangout.
It so happens that some of them don’t share the same viewpoint about rational like you. But it ain’t matter. Because you spend time with them in context like doing the projects together, going to college picnics and so on. So you let the other connections go because after all they are colleagues.
Yes, some of them do develop and grow into friends. But majority are just a person with whom the connection is the work you do. And nothing more.
Generally, you would have many colleagues because you would keep changing teams, workplaces and shift to different geographical places. But your friends group will be small. And it is important that you know who are your colleagues and friends. Because the way you behave with both of them seems similar. But deep down, friends share a deeper connection than a colleague could ever have.
What happens when one of your colleagues starts to talk about some irrational notion. And you feel like it is your responsibility to have a discussion. You try to learn more about the other side of the story.
But as soon as you talk – your friends guard goes up. And you are made to feel like a wrong person. No discussion, logical arguments – just pure bashing by your colleague.
If this happens then there are 2 choices – leave that colleague. Because it is unhealthy to bear someone who will not listen and cease to co-exist peacefully.
The other choice is to ignore and switch topics to fun things when you sense a heated topic might come. For example, if your friends says – girls wearing shorts is bad. Instead of fueling that thought – ignore or divert the discussion to something fun. Talk about foods, party and the work you did together. Or ask what are her plans for the day.
The idea isn’t to avoid differing perspective. Rather it is cultivating a habit of living with people peacefully. Some people don’t want to hear the differing angles. And there is very less you can do. So enjoy the limited space you both share. And move on, Because you will have your close friends for open, rational and intellect discussion.
Many of your colleagues won’t be cool with the idea that you have different opinions. And it is okay. Instead of fighting your heart out, learn to co-exist. Avoid the conversation, be silent and divert your attention to others thing which is something the others don’t get offended with.
The idea isn’t that they are right and you gave in. Rather it is to save your energy to do bigger things. And not let daily stress affect your mind.
Be calm and embrace that some people won’t change and so you should put your energy into becoming a better version of yourself.
You Don’t Need Arguing
Maybe at the initial interaction to find out who is open to differing view points and holds a logical rational. Once you had established that, you can live with limited conversations with colleagues and meaningful conversations with your close friends.
You may need to do this because many times it is difficult to completely cut off the irrational person. Because either you sit together at the office, the canteen is the common place or you have the same journey to the work. And going different ways is awkward.
To put it out there – avoiding them completely is the best way. But for days or years when you can’t avoid them, co-exist by not arguing. Be the wise one out.